Don’t Care What I Wear.

Today I had a date with my friend Briana to walk the mall.  We’ve had a run of cold snaps and bad weather lately and neither of us have been leaving the house much.  She has a four year old and a seven week old and I have Casey so we were both excited to get out of the house and talk to another adult for a while as we caught up, shopped a bit and got some minimal exercise.  And there I was, an hour before I was supposed to leave, worrying about what to wear.  Even as I acknowledged the absurdity of my predicament, I found myself debating the merits of one pair of leggings versus another and worrying about whether I should wear a sweater or my hi-low sweatshirt with my boots and knee socks.  I feel ridiculous admitting this and yet reflecting on the episode, I realize that it’s been a long time since I last felt the frustrated indecision that used to accompany getting dressed each morning. Being pregnant was such a relief from the daily decision of choosing an outfit.  I had a set number of maternity clothes, clothes that fit period, and it was a joy each day to simply see my growing belly underneath my clothes.  Now, being a stay at home mom, I usually live in leggings and a t-shirt: casual, comfortable clothes that I can move around in, nap in, nurse in and not care if they end up with baby food, spit-up, or drool on them.

The truth is that what I was wearing was the least important part of the afternoon.  I could have worn my big sweats and we still would have had a great time.   It was just so good to get out of the house and spend time with a good friend; to talk about how we are coping as moms and women and humans.  It isn’t always easy being those three things all at the same time and it feels good to have someone to reach out to, to complain to, to listen to, to relate to.  The power of friendship is always amazing.

After we parted ways, I literally shed tears of gratitude driving home.  Maybe it was the Sam Smith song on the radio, but I was just so touched by the beauty of our friendship, by the breathtaking reality of our children.  The image of her with this tiny baby girl at her breast, as we sat in the Macys dressing room toward the end of our day, with our two sons  looking on, stayed with me.  I kept thinking how incredible it is that our children start out as these teeny tiny beings with no language, with limited senses, with only a few specific needs, and then in no time at all they become little boys and girls, crawling and walking and babbling and learning about the world around them.  At ten months old, Casey is already beginning to walk, to find ways to let us know what he wants, giving us hugs and kisses and beginning to snuggle.  It happens so quickly and its so incredible to watch and I am so grateful that I am a mother and that I have wonderful, incredible friends to share these joys with.

Anyway, enough with the sap.  Casey is getting bigger and bolder every day.  He’s walking farther and no longer just from one person to another.  No, now he is beginning to let go and venture out on his own.  Not far.  From the coffee table to the sofa or from the sofa to a toy he wants. Enough to build his confidence in being able to walk on his own.  Crawling is still much faster so that continues to be his preferred mode of transportation.

The kid is a freaking genius as well.  No, seriously.  He blows me away all the time.  I know every mother thinks this about their child but it is amazing to watch him really begin to understand things.  He has gotten so good at letting us know what he wants, whether its smiling at the mention of one snack rather than another or responding to my sign for “more.”  He will pick out a toy and bring it to us to play with or roll a ball our way and then wait for us to roll it back.  It’s amazing watching him explore how things work and how they fit together.  One of his favorite games is being chased as he crawls around the house.  He laughs hysterically when you go around the opposite way and surprise him as he turns the corner.  Most of all, he loves exploring Alex’s office, when he can get into it, which isn’t a lot of the time so when he spots the open door, he high tails it in that direction.  It’s just a shame he doesn’t understand the concept of stealth yet.  Between the slap of his small hands on the wood floor, the loud breathing and the excited squeals, we always know what he is up to and get to the door a second before he does.

In leu of picture I’m including a video I took earlier this week.  Here, Casey starts singing along as he makes some music, cracks himself up as he does his weird one-leg Gorilla crawl, gets up and WALKS to me!

Ok, maybe just a few pictures because I just can’t get enough of this face!




One thought on “Don’t Care What I Wear.

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