When I started this blog, a little over a year ago, I wasn’t sure what it would become or if I would even keep it up. I thought it would be a way to keep those close to me updated on the health and status of my growing family and the progress and changes of my baby boy. It has become so much more that than for me. It has given me a creative outlet, a way to express myself and explain, through written word, who I am. I feel compelled to write these days because I like the sound of my voice on paper. For many years, I’ve felt the tremendous pressure of words, dammed up somewhere within me, and had no way to release them. I needed a muse and, so, was presented with one in the most basic form. I grew one.
Through writing about being pregnant and chronicling my journey into parenthood, I have found my voice. Being presented everyday with the delights and pleasures of parenting, as well as the tremendous challenges of raising an already rambunctious little boy, I have found within me the release I needed. Words pour out of me, if not on this blog or my other one, then in my journal that I keep daily. It isn’t always easy to put the words into an order that sounds right or articulates the exact nature of my feelings and view points, but I’m working on that. Keeping this blog has helped me to practice the craft of writing and to experiment with different ways to convey, through words, the visions and feelings that are inside of me. If nothing else, it gives me something meaningful to do while Casey naps.
Since the beginning of this year, I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude. Tomorrow, will be Alex and my first wedding anniversary. I feel grateful that I have him by my side, grateful that we now have a specific date to commemorate our promises to each other, our “I Do’s.” At the same time, we have been together for so much longer than a year that it feels a bit absurd to celebrate a single year of our relationship. But what a year it’s been!
The past year has felt like the toughest and the easiest year that we have had together. Not only did we become husband and wife but we became parents and through these labels our relationship shifted. We are still best friends, still the light in each other’s eyes and best of all we now get to share our love and light with this beautiful, crazy little boy that we created. Over the past year, I feel we have acquired a settledness about us. We have become grounded and I feel a calm surety that wasn’t there before. As we celebrate a single year of marriage after 7 years of dating, I feel a deep gratitude that I have found such a sweet soulmate to share my time on earth with. Thank you, Alex, for sharing your life with me; for being a steady source of strength when I needed it and for never backing down or giving up when there were signs of trouble. I love you now more than I did yesterday and I will love you even more tomorrow.