The blue of morning enters peacefully through the drawn blinds. Laying in bed, I am surrounded by the men in my life: the husband and son I couldn’t have dreamed up if I tried, the cat nudging his cold nose into my palm. The cat, who I nudged gently with my foot (sort of kicked) out of the way yesterday when he got underfoot; the son who I yelled at yesterday when he wouldn’t take a nap; the husband who so often find gets the brunt of my anger when I am tired and fed up and at my wits end. Even as these transgressions weigh upon me, my men move in. My son turns over and wedges his body into mine, seeking closeness and comfort, his breath hot and steady on my collarbone. The cat shimmies closer, resting a paw along the tiny body next to mine, becoming more insistent with his wet nose until I give in and scratch behind his ears. Behind me, my husband fits his knees into the curve of mine, resting his hand across my middle. He is a furnace in sleep and his warmth is reassuring.
This is family. This is the kind of family I want to foster- a family who accepts you at your best as well as at your worst and who forgives you even when you have trouble forgiving yourself. We laugh and love and fight and apologize and look forward rather then back. We work to build a stronger foundation, foster a deeper connection each day and make new memories each day. And in the cool blue of morning, all is forgotten except an innate desire to be close, to reach out and find the ones we love without having to open our eyes.